I've actually had most of this one written for about a week, but have forgotten to publish with shocking regularity. Enjoy.
Last weekend, I took my "Mini-Norddeutschland Trip" of Lübeck and Hamburg. I wish I could say that it was really to see the sights, but let's be honest here: Hamburg had Harry Potter in English. But I'll get to that later.
The outdoor Weihnachtsmarkt (Christmas Market) is one of those German traditions that everyone in the United States seems to know about, the Holy Trinity of popular German cultural references along with Heidelberg and Munich, but it really isn't possible to grasp unless you've been there. First, I should say that EVERYONE goes to the Lübecker Weihnachtsmarkt. Everyone. Or at least the entire population of the Germanic speaking world north of Hannover; the bubbly, backwards, and gutteral sounds of Danish syllables, or lack there of, were just about as common in the crowd as German.
And a person doesn't walk through the Weihnachtsmarkt so much as slides or spins, darting through holes in the crowd and around corners of booths. Normally, this kind of thing is really hard to do in the United States; people are kind of touchy and apologize profusely if you step on them, bump them too hard, or suddenly cut in front in a crowd, but not in Germany. Oh no, Human Pinball isn't only tolerated, it's encouraged.
Being me, I would bump into or step on someone pretty regularly while trying to keep my exit in sight. My over-exercised "American Apology Gland" would start pumping out "Good Will-o-Dorphens," and I'd say I was sorry. I can't help it, it's just one of those cultural things that's seared in my head, like the separation of Church and State, or the right to be protected from illegal search and seizure, but Germans just mutter: "Es macht nichts (It doesn't matter)," and keep going. Cool.
Crowd congestion is at its most impressive around the five billion Glühwein stands that (let's be honest) really MAKE the Weihnachtsmarkt what it is: a big outdoor market filled with neat stuff to buy with some rides, powered by warm mulled wine handed out in really neat commemorative mugs. OK, so the word "commemorative" is used loosely here. Technically, you buy the wine along with a 1,20 € Pfand (return refund) on the mug, but, uh, that never happened. I have two "Lübecker Weihnachtsmarkt" mugs on my desk in front of my computer right now. Yeah, that's right, I took them, and without ASKING first. Take that, System! The Man ain't got nothin'!
Everytime I see something like this in Germany, I'm stuck by a profound sense of jealousy; the United States only has these giant indoor commercial malls, and never a giant outdoor commercial market that is, dare we say it, social. My God, not that! Why don't we, as Americans, or "Amer'cans" if you take your lead from the Commander and....(OK, I just wanted to see if I could call him that without laughing. No dice), have outdoor markets that support themselves with steaming mugs of alchohol? Maybe if we made them Drive Thru McMarkets with 350 horsepower engines that hug the road with chrome-rimmed wheels. But I could be wrong.
Long and short of it is: the Weihnachtsmarkt was awesome. You should go. Right now. Come on. It's only a 4,500 mile trip, stop whining. OK, OK, next year. But I'll be counting.
While I'm on this awesome wave, I'll just say one thing: Harry Potter! Jesus Humphrey Christ, is it good! Ahhhhh! Damn you, Newell for perfectly adapting JK Rowling's annoyingly addictive fantasy series! Not many people know this, but the Harry Potter books are actually derived from the Coca plant, so if you ever finish a Potter novel and suddenly find yourself overpowered by the impulse to clean your house and cut the grass at three in the morning, you're not alone.
Seriously, though, it was a great movie! It never lets up, is appropriately dark, and manages to cut out everything that doesn't need to be there while still keeping the central theme of the book alive and well. Kudos. I could say more, but it would eventually degenerate into me repeating myself until it the post transforms into an overly intellectually discussion of Star Wars, the Lord of the Rings, or Star Trek. I will say no more.
On a seperate note: I said earlier that Germans dub everything on TV, but I was wrong. The dub ALMOST everything, with the exception of Bob Ross' Painting show. You know the guy: "Let's put a happy little tree over there. It doesn't matter, it's your world, you can put him wherever you want." Yeah, that guy. They don't dub him or add subtitles. He just is. He is eternal and peaceful, like the Buddha, only with a Fro and thiry years of oil painting experience that makes painting look deceptively easy.
Last weekend, I took my "Mini-Norddeutschland Trip" of Lübeck and Hamburg. I wish I could say that it was really to see the sights, but let's be honest here: Hamburg had Harry Potter in English. But I'll get to that later.
The outdoor Weihnachtsmarkt (Christmas Market) is one of those German traditions that everyone in the United States seems to know about, the Holy Trinity of popular German cultural references along with Heidelberg and Munich, but it really isn't possible to grasp unless you've been there. First, I should say that EVERYONE goes to the Lübecker Weihnachtsmarkt. Everyone. Or at least the entire population of the Germanic speaking world north of Hannover; the bubbly, backwards, and gutteral sounds of Danish syllables, or lack there of, were just about as common in the crowd as German.
And a person doesn't walk through the Weihnachtsmarkt so much as slides or spins, darting through holes in the crowd and around corners of booths. Normally, this kind of thing is really hard to do in the United States; people are kind of touchy and apologize profusely if you step on them, bump them too hard, or suddenly cut in front in a crowd, but not in Germany. Oh no, Human Pinball isn't only tolerated, it's encouraged.
Being me, I would bump into or step on someone pretty regularly while trying to keep my exit in sight. My over-exercised "American Apology Gland" would start pumping out "Good Will-o-Dorphens," and I'd say I was sorry. I can't help it, it's just one of those cultural things that's seared in my head, like the separation of Church and State, or the right to be protected from illegal search and seizure, but Germans just mutter: "Es macht nichts (It doesn't matter)," and keep going. Cool.
Crowd congestion is at its most impressive around the five billion Glühwein stands that (let's be honest) really MAKE the Weihnachtsmarkt what it is: a big outdoor market filled with neat stuff to buy with some rides, powered by warm mulled wine handed out in really neat commemorative mugs. OK, so the word "commemorative" is used loosely here. Technically, you buy the wine along with a 1,20 € Pfand (return refund) on the mug, but, uh, that never happened. I have two "Lübecker Weihnachtsmarkt" mugs on my desk in front of my computer right now. Yeah, that's right, I took them, and without ASKING first. Take that, System! The Man ain't got nothin'!
Everytime I see something like this in Germany, I'm stuck by a profound sense of jealousy; the United States only has these giant indoor commercial malls, and never a giant outdoor commercial market that is, dare we say it, social. My God, not that! Why don't we, as Americans, or "Amer'cans" if you take your lead from the Commander and....(OK, I just wanted to see if I could call him that without laughing. No dice), have outdoor markets that support themselves with steaming mugs of alchohol? Maybe if we made them Drive Thru McMarkets with 350 horsepower engines that hug the road with chrome-rimmed wheels. But I could be wrong.
Long and short of it is: the Weihnachtsmarkt was awesome. You should go. Right now. Come on. It's only a 4,500 mile trip, stop whining. OK, OK, next year. But I'll be counting.
While I'm on this awesome wave, I'll just say one thing: Harry Potter! Jesus Humphrey Christ, is it good! Ahhhhh! Damn you, Newell for perfectly adapting JK Rowling's annoyingly addictive fantasy series! Not many people know this, but the Harry Potter books are actually derived from the Coca plant, so if you ever finish a Potter novel and suddenly find yourself overpowered by the impulse to clean your house and cut the grass at three in the morning, you're not alone.
Seriously, though, it was a great movie! It never lets up, is appropriately dark, and manages to cut out everything that doesn't need to be there while still keeping the central theme of the book alive and well. Kudos. I could say more, but it would eventually degenerate into me repeating myself until it the post transforms into an overly intellectually discussion of Star Wars, the Lord of the Rings, or Star Trek. I will say no more.
On a seperate note: I said earlier that Germans dub everything on TV, but I was wrong. The dub ALMOST everything, with the exception of Bob Ross' Painting show. You know the guy: "Let's put a happy little tree over there. It doesn't matter, it's your world, you can put him wherever you want." Yeah, that guy. They don't dub him or add subtitles. He just is. He is eternal and peaceful, like the Buddha, only with a Fro and thiry years of oil painting experience that makes painting look deceptively easy.
posted by Der verwirrte Ausländer at 2:37 AM
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