Homicidal thoughts are tricky things, because not only are they morally wrong and go against everything I believe in, but they're also damn appealing at times. Let me explain:
Today in class 11a\b, I was supposed to do a little lesson about the American Dream. Fine. Can do. As a suggestion, Andreas said it might be a good idea to use a song if I had one, which of course I do, because my Ipod is packed full of stuff. Truth be told, I was excited about this whole thing, the idea of using a song, talking about it, taking it apart, and applying it to a concept or situation. Hell, it what I do for FUN when I'm hanging out with my friends.
And here, Ladies and Gentlemen, is where I introduce Exibit A in the trial of "Majority of Brandon's Life From 13 to 21 v. Female Attention." As you will see thoughout the proceedings, this, and the evidence to follow, makes the Defendant a "winner." Mmm, I love the smell of Self-Deprecation in the morning. Anyway, back to the class:
I decided to use "Used Cars" from Bruce Springsteen's album "Nebraska (1982)." I love that album; it's one of my favorites, and possesses that most rare of qualites called "self-life." I could listen to it over and over again, and the writing is just so damn good. AND, it just so happened to fit the topic of cars in American Society perfectly. If you don't get it, just read the title of the song really slow. If you still don't get it, don't have children, please, I might have to try to teach them. Sorry, I'm still a bit bitter. You'll see.
The basic idea of the lesson was this: they would listen to the song once all the way through to understand it, then I would hand out a stanza to each group in class for them to discuss it's meaning and basic point, then we would come back together and discuss ideas as a class. Simple, no? No. Apparently not. Now, I will admit that the sound quality on my laptop sucked in the class room, that the song was hard to hear, but it wasn't THAT important; the song was only there to get started on an idea, really, so if they couldn't understand the whole thing, they could at least get the basic idea, or at least go from their stanzas. Nope, afraid not.
First off, they did everything in German, which is just damn stupid. The name of the class is ENGLISH, so logic would dictate that one would speak English in class. If this idea is dense, please tell me to slow down. I've tried to get them to speak in English before about a hundred times, but there's just no point; as soon as you turn your back, the verbs run to the end of sentences and there's no present progressive tense. So, whatever; I let that slide just to preserve my sanity. I'd need it later so they could rob me of it.
They talked in groups for about six to seven minutes, after which I asked the class if they were done. They ignored me. Fine. I asked again. They ignored me again. I went around the room to ask if they were done; they acknowledged my existence this time by staring blankly at me before ignoring me. I was, at this point, getting tired of this shit. I didn't want to kíll them, just make them cry. But I didn't. I was good.
I just went to the front of the room and started talking, which made them turn around and actually pay attention. Good, time for the discussion. Here's how it went:
ME: So, just to start, what was the song about?
Student: No idea.
No idea? The song is called USED CARS! Use context! So, I explained what it was about. At this point, I could tell things were going south really quick, so I went for the old "how would that make you feel" thing, just to get them talking about something. I did get a: "He's proud of his car" after that. YAY! In my enthusiasm, I pushed ahead, fueled by the propect of students speaking English. I continued:
ME: So, imagine what it's like buying a used car. It's kind of like, you know, not being able to afford a new cell phone and having to settle for an old one that's beat up, one everyone knows isn't new. How would that make you feel?
CLASS: (Silence and Blank Stares)
ME: What about the Salesman, what do you think his role is?
CLASS: (Silence and Blank Stares)
It was like talking with cows, fat, moping, barely sentient livestock.
ME: What did you think of the song?
CLASS: Moo.
ME: How does that make you feel? How would you feel if you had nothing while the world on the TV was wealthy, attractive, and full of opportunities, and you weren't?
CLASS: Moo. (Swats flies away from mud encrusted ass with tail)
SAY SOMETHING! I admit, the lesson wasn't the best ever; I had dumped the idea of having the class place the stanzas on the board in the right order (that was my orignal idea), because Andreas said it was really easy, and I could leave it out, in favor of this. But they wouldn't speak. At all. Toward the end, I just wanted them to say SOMETHING. Hell, if they had told me that my lesson sucked and they wished they were dead, I would have been happy to discuss it. In English.
They wouldn't even talk to me while my computer was starting up when I asked them how they were doing, what they were doing this weekend, stuff like that. AHHHH! After class, I wanted to burn down their cities, sell the population into bondage, and sow thier fields with salt so nothing would ever grow there again, but that's just redundant: there wasn't much there to start with.
I keep forgetting that Germans schools don't really discuss things: what you think isn't important, just write something and conjugate the verbs correctly. Munich will be nice this weekend.
Today in class 11a\b, I was supposed to do a little lesson about the American Dream. Fine. Can do. As a suggestion, Andreas said it might be a good idea to use a song if I had one, which of course I do, because my Ipod is packed full of stuff. Truth be told, I was excited about this whole thing, the idea of using a song, talking about it, taking it apart, and applying it to a concept or situation. Hell, it what I do for FUN when I'm hanging out with my friends.
And here, Ladies and Gentlemen, is where I introduce Exibit A in the trial of "Majority of Brandon's Life From 13 to 21 v. Female Attention." As you will see thoughout the proceedings, this, and the evidence to follow, makes the Defendant a "winner." Mmm, I love the smell of Self-Deprecation in the morning. Anyway, back to the class:
I decided to use "Used Cars" from Bruce Springsteen's album "Nebraska (1982)." I love that album; it's one of my favorites, and possesses that most rare of qualites called "self-life." I could listen to it over and over again, and the writing is just so damn good. AND, it just so happened to fit the topic of cars in American Society perfectly. If you don't get it, just read the title of the song really slow. If you still don't get it, don't have children, please, I might have to try to teach them. Sorry, I'm still a bit bitter. You'll see.
The basic idea of the lesson was this: they would listen to the song once all the way through to understand it, then I would hand out a stanza to each group in class for them to discuss it's meaning and basic point, then we would come back together and discuss ideas as a class. Simple, no? No. Apparently not. Now, I will admit that the sound quality on my laptop sucked in the class room, that the song was hard to hear, but it wasn't THAT important; the song was only there to get started on an idea, really, so if they couldn't understand the whole thing, they could at least get the basic idea, or at least go from their stanzas. Nope, afraid not.
First off, they did everything in German, which is just damn stupid. The name of the class is ENGLISH, so logic would dictate that one would speak English in class. If this idea is dense, please tell me to slow down. I've tried to get them to speak in English before about a hundred times, but there's just no point; as soon as you turn your back, the verbs run to the end of sentences and there's no present progressive tense. So, whatever; I let that slide just to preserve my sanity. I'd need it later so they could rob me of it.
They talked in groups for about six to seven minutes, after which I asked the class if they were done. They ignored me. Fine. I asked again. They ignored me again. I went around the room to ask if they were done; they acknowledged my existence this time by staring blankly at me before ignoring me. I was, at this point, getting tired of this shit. I didn't want to kíll them, just make them cry. But I didn't. I was good.
I just went to the front of the room and started talking, which made them turn around and actually pay attention. Good, time for the discussion. Here's how it went:
ME: So, just to start, what was the song about?
Student: No idea.
No idea? The song is called USED CARS! Use context! So, I explained what it was about. At this point, I could tell things were going south really quick, so I went for the old "how would that make you feel" thing, just to get them talking about something. I did get a: "He's proud of his car" after that. YAY! In my enthusiasm, I pushed ahead, fueled by the propect of students speaking English. I continued:
ME: So, imagine what it's like buying a used car. It's kind of like, you know, not being able to afford a new cell phone and having to settle for an old one that's beat up, one everyone knows isn't new. How would that make you feel?
CLASS: (Silence and Blank Stares)
ME: What about the Salesman, what do you think his role is?
CLASS: (Silence and Blank Stares)
It was like talking with cows, fat, moping, barely sentient livestock.
ME: What did you think of the song?
CLASS: Moo.
ME: How does that make you feel? How would you feel if you had nothing while the world on the TV was wealthy, attractive, and full of opportunities, and you weren't?
CLASS: Moo. (Swats flies away from mud encrusted ass with tail)
SAY SOMETHING! I admit, the lesson wasn't the best ever; I had dumped the idea of having the class place the stanzas on the board in the right order (that was my orignal idea), because Andreas said it was really easy, and I could leave it out, in favor of this. But they wouldn't speak. At all. Toward the end, I just wanted them to say SOMETHING. Hell, if they had told me that my lesson sucked and they wished they were dead, I would have been happy to discuss it. In English.
They wouldn't even talk to me while my computer was starting up when I asked them how they were doing, what they were doing this weekend, stuff like that. AHHHH! After class, I wanted to burn down their cities, sell the population into bondage, and sow thier fields with salt so nothing would ever grow there again, but that's just redundant: there wasn't much there to start with.
I keep forgetting that Germans schools don't really discuss things: what you think isn't important, just write something and conjugate the verbs correctly. Munich will be nice this weekend.
posted by Der verwirrte Ausländer at 2:25 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home