I'm kind of tired, so I'll make this brief. Imagine a man in a purple suit with bleached blonde hair. OK, good. Now a nun. And no, this post in NOT going there, it's just you. OK, now have the nun tap a barrel of beer, spin around, only to be over-shadowed by men with accordians and guitars badly lip-syncing. Now make this last for two hours. Welcome to German television.

Eat it, Lawrence Welk, because you just got served.