Friday, December 15, 2006

My fellow Americans, the state of the Brain is confused. The markets have flagged in the last week, industrial output has lagged, and an internal audit has revealed several date discrepencies. Is it Thursday, Friday, or Saturday? No one knows. What is certain, however, is that the Brain continues to function. I have received a letter just this afternoon from the Organ-and-Chief, in which it is clear that all is in order. I offer here to set you minds at ease:

After a month ask you all surely, what i done have. To the Beginning have i the Present Progressive Tense eliminated: it isn't necessary, and i need no word for "to walk;" "to go" or "to run" is good enough. Surely has it to you occured, that i only of one Thing speak can, the german Language

In the last Month have i three major Papers in German done, und because of this has my English suddenly difficult become. Normally would i say, that this no Problem is: German makes for me always fun, but in the last several Days has it my Life become, so that i myself not always on the english Word remember can. It is a funny Feeling, without a Doubt. Is it "by the court house," or "at the court house," "you can see," or "one can see?" This know i not. But however hard this be may, try i always, myself to remind, that the german Language a pretty Language is. She has a Friend of mine in the last Years become, and i have always fun, when i her use can, no matter if it by Writing or Speaking is.

And she sounds cool. In Honest. I know, that there People are, who say, that German to them ugly sounds, but to them have i only to say, that they her not really heard have, not outside of a Movie, that with War to do has. According to my Opinion should a Film about Germany with something Tasty to do have, like Bread or Beer, in order to People the Impression to give, that there something outside of the Second World War is, that Germany the World to offer has. Bernd the Bread for instance. This Show is very, very funny. In Honest. If you ever to Germany go, should you her see. I saw only a couple, when I there was, but both Times laughed i myself almost to the Death. Is there anything funnier than a speaking Piece of Bread, that its Life hates? No. Such a thing is there not.

OK maybe is there one Thing, but only one. Before two Days saw i a Car, that Antlers on the Windows and a Nose on the Grill had, so that it like a Reindeer looked like. I know, was you all think: "Brandon" say you, "how can you thing, that that funny is? It's Christmas Crap." That may it so be, but in this Time of Year have i a better Acceptance of such Things. It's easy neccesary. The tackier the better say i. There are People next door, who so many lights on their Houses have, that one the Light a few Streets away see can. THIS is a Holiday. For what said Jesus by this Birth other than "Go and buy Lights, so that my Appearance with a Waste of Energy commemorated be can."

Apparently nothing, and God be thanked.


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